Sounds like it's a good time for you to really dig down into yourself and figure out what it is that makes you feel so insecure.
You may find that solving THAT issue will resolve all of the rest of your confusion.
If you want people to love YOU for who you really are-they can only do that if they know YOU for who you REALLY are. If they only know the facade you are putting up-then they also only love the facade, not you.
The Seven Levels of Intimacy book talks about that and how it impacts our lives.
"Love As Thou Wilt"