Time time time and Patience.. and you're going to have to have that talk, and many after =)
If you are really in love w/ the both of them, keep up hope that it can work out =)
I, too.. cheated on my husband. I told him my feelings and intentions before the actual "cheating" but still ended up sleeping w/ someone else after he said, "I could never touch you again if you slept with someone else!" I guess that comment just made me want to prove him wrong though..? Because when we first were together i was sleeping w/ someone else and it didn't change anything.
I cheated... and things are okay =) It has taken a long time, and still in the process of trying to manage a V relationship with two men that have a REALLY hard time communicating.. mostly involving manly looks hugs and nodding of heads? =) but after a lot of tears.. he kissed me and said, "It still feels the same"
If you really believe it is possible, and from your heart.. just hold onto that.
and .. get those words out.