Originally Posted by Araneidae
If I'm going to be somewhat of a co-parent and adult figure to the kids to the best of my ability, I want to feel more integrated into the family.
As a mom, if someone came in and expected to CO-PARENT my kids (existing and any future), I would be livid and wouldn't want them anywhere near me or my kids EVER. My husband's best friend, over the years, has become closer than an aunt to my kids, but she is NOT a co-parent. I am the parent and my husband is the parent. For me this expectation or goal sends up all kinds of red flags (even if the expectation coming from one of the parents).
Is your begging for more time with the bf reasonable for a man with job, home, family and possible other interests that don't involve you? Twice a week commitments is actually a LOT of time away from a young family and household chores, especially if any of those are overnights. Many people with a family are lucky to get one night a week. I have a few childless friends and they have NO clue that staying out late, even just once is a BIG, HUGE, friggin deal and it adds extra stress on the parent that is staying home. Have you offered to babysit so your bf and his wife can have a night out?