I don't subscribe to the concept of "ultimatums". In other words if I look at you and say "I need you to do this (whatever) in order for me to be with you in a certain way" that is not an ultimatum, that is a criteria you have in order to share your life in a specific manner. This applies both ways.
I see it as, you both have a set of personal criteria required for you to be with someone. If there is a healthy degree of compatibility than the relationship has a good foundation to build on. If those criteria aren't mutually satisfied then the relationship will be a constant struggle or fail.
People can work on compromising and seeing if those criteria have some area for change, very few things are cast in stone. But that may require temporary sacrifice to build the trust and confidence to move forward to meet a desired goal.
Hope this helps
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over