Originally Posted by AutumnalTone
In this instance, I would offer that you're neglecting the third--the relationship with T.
Keep in mind that you'll likely be able to spend more time with J in the future without it possibly harming your relationship with T, simply due to the security that comes from time spent without bad things happening.
I agree with this. If you can spend time with T without bad things happening or coming up, it should make his trust in you a lot stronger and thus would be easier for you get what you want from J without having as much to deal with from T because he won't feel as neglected.
Just a thought.