Originally Posted by KatTails
but unless you are a mono who is being asked to accept this lifestyle that your SO has forced upon you - you can't fully understand. I am sure that my husband and MG agree with you - because they are seeing it from their perspective - which is that they are in love and I am trying to stop it or make it difficult. I never wanted this lifestyle. I never wanted to share my husband. I don't see her in our future.
You nailed it nicely my friend. I truly believe it is not possible to understand the feelings your mono mind is having when you are poly..it is like going to the funeral of a friend's mother when yours is still alive....you just don't get the sense of loss.
This is not meant to be a negative comment but an observation. There are times where I get very frustrated when I try to explain what a universally huge, absolutely immense thing this is. This is not about getting "your own life"...this is about sharing the person you love in a way that is completely unnatural to a mono mind especially when the relationship is founded on a monogamous beginning. This cannot be compared to any other life change. Full stop. It is massive.
On the flip side, I would never assume to fully understand the need or ability to love more than one intimate partner. I just don't get it.
Redpepper and I still have passionate discussions about the stories we read on this forum. I have a natural tendency to side with the monos while she has a better understanding of those who are non-monogamous....this totally makes sense and makes our lives interesting