Thread: Captain's Log
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Old 07-25-2014, 11:58 PM
LoveBunny LoveBunny is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 468

Twice in the last couple of weeks I have run into my cute, bisexual hairdresser at gay bars. Both times we were drunk, and she pulled me into her arms to dance. The second time there was some random cuddling. So, yesterday, I got my hair cut, both because I needed it and also I wanted to sit in her chair and get to know her better.

I am a very subtle flirter until I'm sure someone is into me. And if the other woman is also a subtle flirter, well, all is lost. So let's over-analyze everything she did and said and try to figure out if she's into me, shall we?

1) When I walked in, she did not stand up and hug me (she was on her computer laughing at something on Facebook.) I hugged her while she was still sitting. Awkward.

2) She took her time shampooing, styling, etc., and we sat and talked for a while after the cut was finished, just basic getting-to-know-you stuff like where we grew up, what kind of books we read, etc.. She was clearly in no hurry to get rid of me, though the conversation didn't go very deep (Inside I was screaming "Let's talk about being bi! What turns you on in bed?")

3) No obvious flirting or inappropriate touching went on, though we were alone in her salon, but of course, she's a pro, and I'm a client. She did some nice little brushing away water drops with her thumb on my forehead and chest, but I think she always does that. Once, she was telling a story about dropping crumbs in her cleveage and she reached down pretty far on my chest. I think it's safe to say she feels comfortable touching me. I cannot confirm that she likes it.

4) Her energy felt very different from previous encounters. She seemed more awkward and her voice sounded louder. She's always been very talkative, but this time I struggled to get a word in. This made me get kind of quiet--like I wanted to calm the energy a bit, and I felt like she was a little out of her head. I'm thinking she's far more social awkward than I realized. I did learn she comes from strict, religious upbringing and was homeschooled, has some phobia and anxiety issues, so that might explain some of the nervous energy.

5) I hinted about going over to house sometime to play on her karaoke machine, we both asked each other's plans for the evening (she has kids, so she was busy parenting.) Before I left, I said, "I'd love for us to go out for a drink sometime." She replied, "I'd love to." I said, "When you can ditch the kids, let me know." Which was stupid, because now I feel stuck in the position of waiting for her to contact me. I'm thinking of sending her a follow up saying something like "If you want to nail down a night so you can find childcare, I'd love that drink soon." We did not hug goodbye.

I get the sense she's interested in me as a friend, I don't see much indication that she's open to anything more, but maybe she was just in "work mode." I'm pretty sure she's read my OKCupid profile so knows my deal, I can't imagine I wouldn't have popped up in her searches, but who knows? I gave her lots of eye contact and smiles. I am disappointed that there wasn't more of a sexual, touchy vibe like when we were out at the bars.

And because the Universe is a jokester, an attractive man seems to be coming on to me in an obvious way. He's a masseuse, he worked on me once at a friend's house, and months later I ran into him at a party and he was very flirty . I have no idea if he knows I'm married. I wear my wedding band, but he's never seen me with Arlo. Do men notice wedding bands?

He asked me, at the beginning of the massage, if I wanted a "happy ending." I though he was joking and said "Some other time." I'm not sure he was kidding. My friend, who uses him more frequently, says she doesn't know if he does that.

For men, paying for sexual contact seems to be a rite of passage. My husband's had hookers. Most men I know have at least gotten lap dances from strippers. Paying men for sex just isn't something women do. But maybe it would be gratifying. I've become sort of intrigued with the idea of this man giving me a happy ending. But would he stop there? I have a hard time imagining a man wouldn't press for his own sexual gratification. But I have no idea how these things work.

Anyway, my friend just texted to tell me Mr. Masseuse is going out on his boat tomorrow, and invited her and me to come. I said yes, and he immediately texted me himself (friend gave him my number, obviously) and he invited me out for drinks tonight! Why can't women be this obvious and un-subtle?? Anyway, I have plans to see a movie with a pregnant friend tonight, so it'll be a quiet evening, but I suspect I'm going to have a very interesting day out on the water tomorrow
Female, bi-amorous, mid 40's
on the spectrum between poly-amorous and monogam-ish

--Melinda, lesbian, early 30's, dating 1 1/2 years
--Hal, mid 40's, heteroflexible, we dated 8 months, broke up for 1 1/2 years, recently started dating again
--Arlo, ex-husband. I was with him 17 years, still good friends
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