I think that analogy was a great way to express how you are FEELING in your situation!
I LIKE the analogy and think I will copy it to Maca and get his take on how it fits into our situation.
I am also VERY happy to see that you DID decide to post again-I hope you keep doing so. It's hard-but it can also be healing.
MorningGlory-I am very happy to see that you chose to refrain from putting in your perspective without first getting confirmation from KT. That was a good step towards building some trust after the emotional situation in her main thread. Good job.
Onto my personal thoughts-
Since I have read the threads you both wrote-I think it's important to note that your feelings (KT) do need to be considered, but you also need to remember not to allow your feelings to be the sole decision maker for you-because feelings aren't always on par with our long term goals, or realistic. (not suggesting you haven't been aware of that-just clarifying before I go on).
I think that it's VERY important that IF you three are going to be functional and not damaging to one another-that this boat needs to be manned by all three of you.
I also think (and I alluded to this previously) that MG's marriage will ultimately die a hard death if this boat isn't ACTUALLY manned by all 4 of you in the long run.
Now of course that's MY opinion-others may disagree (including yourselves).
For my situation (in case it can help at all) I being the one who brought a new person into the boat and broke Maca's trust and "plans" with me.
I find that it is IMPERATIVE that I include Maca in EVERY decision about our life. EVERY decision. This cuts down on a LOT of the emotional drama.
Also-I insist that if GG wants something (like a date night with me outside of our normal routine) then HE goes to Maca and works out the plans. That way Maca is being treated with respect not only by me, but by both of us and he KNOWS he is in on EVERY decision, because they are being brought to him each time-not going THROUGH me sometimes....
KT-thank you for sharing your analogy-you did a great job with creating a picture of the emotions you are struggling with and the situation in which you find yourself.
"Love As Thou Wilt"