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Old 07-19-2014, 08:35 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 320
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My three weeks of having to transport younger kid 70 miles a day for work are over... And she's now with her dad for the rest of the summer, other than a couple of weekdays next week for her birthday party with us, and a couple of weekdays next month after I get back from visiting Guy so she can get her learner's permit and start practicing driving.

I'm feeling a little crabby today because I've had three different guys emailing me on OKC and AFF, who proved in the past 24 hours that their reading comprehension skills suck. All of them refused or were unable to comprehend that I write FICTION. Which means it is NOT about my real life. I do NOT live the stories I write, whether romance or teen fiction. And writing romance is NOT EVEN CLOSE to the same thing as "dirty talk." I had to block one of the guys from messaging me further because he was not taking "I don't do dirty talk, please leave me alone now" as an answer.

Had a jealousy issue yesterday. Guy is leaving the area where the woman he's been seeing from OKC lives, and he's told me he doesn't plan to see her again unless she's willing to drive the 2 hours to visit him at his next project location, because he can't afford the gas and only considered her someone fun to pass time with while he was in her area. (And he did make that clear to her.) Yesterday was his last day there, so he chose to spend most of it with her. He texted me to let me know, and part of me wanted to tell him that I didn't want him to go see her.

I didn't say that, of course. I just thanked him for telling me and told him to have a good time. But I really didn't want him to see her, and I'm not even sure why. Other than the obvious, insecurity. She's near him; I'm not. Even though he's told me I'm the only one he loves or wants to love, I'm still afraid he's going to find someone geographically closer to him and decide she's better for him than I am. Jealousy and insecurity are going to happen, and that's okay. How I handle it is what matters, and yesterday I handled it right, as far as I'm concerned. I kept it to myself, let myself feel crappy for a few minutes, and then ordered my lunch and played a word search game on my phone while I ate.

Meanwhile, I'm seeing S2 again either tomorrow night or Monday night, depending on his band's schedule. They tentatively planned a recording session tomorrow night, but S2 won't know until tomorrow afternoon if they're actually doing it. Fortunately, with younger kiddo gone, my schedule is flexible enough that I can deal with the short notice. Hubby already knows I'm seeing S2 and that it's going to be one night or the other; I can't remember if I told Guy or not, but I'm going to text him when I know for sure when the date is, just to make certain he's aware.

I told Guy I was worried about what some of the AFF people we know would think if they found out that not only am I married *and* seeing Guy, but I now have an FWB as well. Guy said, "Fuck 'em. Or actually don't, because they aren't worth it."
__________________
Me: 44, cis-het female, poly
Hubby: my husband, 42, monogamous
S2: my "person I like spending time with", male, 44, non-monogamous
Best Friend: male, 38, platonic; the one who keeps me sane through all this!
Guy: male, 43, former LDR boyfriend, maybe friend
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