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Old 07-17-2014, 08:24 PM
icesong icesong is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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The problem with my life right now is that I'm hovering at the edge of - or perhaps wading in the shallows of - a fairly deep depression. As I've alluded to in a few posts recently, parenting does not come naturally to me (perhaps that's an understatement) and I'm finding 2 to be a difficult age to deal with. (And all the parents reading this say "no, really?" and laugh at me.)

But seriously - the day-to-day stuff of parenting sucks my emotional well utterly dry, leaving nothing for my husband. And that's been a problem lately, on so many levels. I'm not being a terribly good partner, either in a "support for partner's issues" sort of way or in a "dating" sort of way, nor in a compersion sort of way for his NRE with Sunshine. And it's self-fulfilling, in that I'm an emotional black hole so he'd rather spend time with other loves because they're easy, and fun, in a way that I'm not right now, which just makes me needy. Bah. I'm working on me, on that front, but it's hard.

I suppose if I'm going to have a metamour that my husband is kind of smitten with, Sunshine is a damn good choice. We actually talk an amazing amount - hell, I talk to her more than I do DinoActivist. This is... actually a bit of a problem. More than a bit of a problem. I can't tell whether this is his introversion or just that I'm very much low on the totem pole; I suspect a combination of both. But it's not what I want from a relationship and I kind of suspect that this is going to transition to more of a friendship sooner rather than later. Not sure. It's not as though I have someone else to fill that time right now, and he is fun to hang out with, etc.

At least my extrovert side will be thrilled with the next few days - 4 dates in 6 days, drinks with a random OKC date tonight, husband-date tomorrow, Martial Artist on Sat, and DinoActivist on Tues. Pretty crazy. But hopefully fun.
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36/bi/F, married to TheKnight (together 19 years)
Partnered with AnotherArtist (2 years)

Other Dramatis Personae are detailed in my blog.
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