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Old 04-22-2010, 01:45 AM
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vandalin vandalin is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 520

Originally Posted by southerndreams View Post
you're right and I do need to ask him. I'm just not really all that great at asking in a clear consice manner. I get emotional and I know that being emotional when discussing this will not help either of us. I think I'm most scared of overstepping. I have so many questions going through my head and I'm just trying to figure out if there are any commonalities in poly relationships.
I have the same problems at times, where my emotions get the better of me and I just can't talk. So I write. Sure, it's only semi-legible, but it's important to get as much as you can and if you can't speak with your mouth, speak with a pencil and paper or keyboard. I spent almost an entire conversation with my husband just writing after Elric broke my heart because I just could not speak.

You can even start by writing. Write down your questions. I wouldn't "practice" what you want to say as you might lose your "place" easily and then get even more frustrated. Start with the questions, if you feel the need to elaborate on the questions in print, do so. Then when you sit down with him, explain what and why you are doing it this way. The first time I had to do this I simply wrote "When I can't speak, I write."

Asking questions is in no way overstepping anything. Lying and saying you have no questions when you do, can be the biggest mistake and can cause so many problems and much heartache. Never be afraid to ask a question.

Good luck!
Life is about the journey and not the destination,
so what better way to know life
than to wander all the roads and paths set before you.
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