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Old 04-21-2010, 06:22 PM
ak2381 ak2381 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Charleston, WV
Posts: 119

So the weekend was not a fun one. My husband and I hit a rough patch with honesty and communication. He had a hard time not lying to me. I had a hard time not sneaking around behind his back to learn the truth. So this resulted in two days of fighting and lots of hurt feelings. By the end of it I am thankfully still a married woman working through a rough time in her life.

Husband is awkward about this new phase in his life and has a hard time accepting who he is. I am doing everything I can to make it easier on him but it got to the point where he was lying again to keep from feeling uncomfortable about what he wanted to tell me. I found out about these lies and confronted him after I read his texts without him knowing. I considered my lies as bad as his so that is probably why I didn't walk out the door. I told him the next time he lied last time I would be done. But this was the next time and I lied as well so it I knew I couldn't just do that. We needed to find a way to trust each other.
I told him I was sick of being the one feeling awkward just to make him more comfortable. I was tired of taking on the hardships so he could go out and have fun. If he wanted this freedom to go out and find himself he needed to accept some of the responsibilities and get over his being uncomfortable and just tell me. I would rather be jealous and bothered for a few minutes or couple of hours than hurt and be suspicious of his behavior for weeks on end that could lead to the end of everything.
But after lots of talking and compromising we came out with more understandings. The next day he even came home with a surprise for me. He had finally after two years replaced his wedding band. His had gotten stolen a couple of years ago from beside his chair at our community pool. And he never replaced it because he always told me they were uncomfortable and he didn't want to spend the money. We had the money but there was usually one excuse after another for him not getting a new one. Alot of it had to do with the cheating that was going on that I didn't know about. That is different now.

As for today. J and I had lunch together. With her husband asking for husband and J to take a small two week break from sexual relations I am trying to keep up a good relationship with her. So I took my daughter along because she has a daughter the same age and knew she would enjoy. It also helps ease any tensions. We just kept it simple and fun at DQ. I know they miss each other but husband loves that I do this kind of thing with her. And it is nice to chat with her about things besides the poly life.

Hope all is well with everyone else.

Last edited by ak2381; 04-21-2010 at 06:25 PM.
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