Idealist Poly Blog Part 14- Good Weekend
Life is feeling pretty stable right now!! I had a great weekend since I was able to spend time with Edward, John, Richard and Katherine.
On Friday evening, I met Edward downtown. There was a lot going on, so we had dinner at an outdoor restaurant and did a lot of people watching. Edward and I have been spending more time together lately and he’s really interested in the poly lifestyle. He retired at the age of 42 and now he’s 62, so he’s lived a life of leisure for 20 years. We have not been sexual since we dated for 6 months about 11 years ago, but it could happen. He certainly seems interested in it, but we’ll see. I also invited John to join us. He works out of state and drives in on Friday evenings. The two of them seemed to get along fine. They had never met, but they knew about one another. When Ed and I broke up years ago, I met John right away and dated him for almost 3 years.
Several of my female friends joined us and we moved to a club to dance a bit and listen to some live music. Both guys left early, but I wasn’t ready to leave, so I talked to this biker dude that I met. I was really attracted to his smile which literally lit up his face when he smiled. I finally headed home, alone….with the top down…..ahhhh the spring weather in the south!!! …gotta love it !!!!
On Saturday afternoon, I went with Richard to a party that some of his old friends were having. It had been three weeks since we had seen each other…..he works out of town and had to work through two weekends. He is seeing someone in the town he works in. They haven’t even discussed his lifestyle. She hasn’t asked if he is seeing anyone else and he hasn’t mentioned it. She knows about me because we’ve talked on the phone when she’s there, but I guess she doesn’t really want to know who I am, so he’s not really getting into it and I’m okay with that. We met up with some of his old friends at the party and they played some good classic rock music together!! He plays lead guitar and was playing an old Stratocaster! He spent the night that night and it was sweet! In the morning, I woke up to find him working in my yard. That was really nice!! I’m not much of a yard person, but there were a few things that needed to be done and it was awesome for him to do that for me! We spent a few hours together talking and sharing affection with one another. It was really nice to be with him!
On Sunday, I picked up Katherine before noon and we went out to a Festival for the day. We stayed into the evening. We talked about finding a guy that we can have a relationship with. We realize that it may be really hard to find someone that we both like, but we are open to it. I shared with her about how I have been feeling with Charles and Holland. With them, I have gotten a glimpse of what it’s like to be in an emotionally intimate V. It’s very stimulating for me and just the little taste of it that I’ve had has convinced me that I really want to pursue this experience and Katherine is the perfect woman for me to experience it with. I am attracted to her and she’s attracted to me. She has the emotional maturity that I desire. I really respect her and I want to get to know her better.
I have realized that I can’t expect the type of emotionally mature V with Charles and Holland that I really desire. I love them a lot and think about them all the time, but I’m trying to step back from them emotionally. They are going out of state for a wedding, so that will give us some time apart. I have and will allow myself to love them completely, but I continue to adjust my expectations so that I won’t be disappointed by the actual emotional and spiritual level of our connection. There is no way that they will satisfy my true desire. The disappointment itself enables me to realize that my expectations and desires are not being met and that allows me to turn my attention elsewhere to a place where my expectations and desires may be more likely to be met.
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.
Last edited by idealist; 04-23-2010 at 10:11 PM.