Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
I do think that people with more experience will have a more "eyes wide open" approach. Skills will be learned and pitfalls considered before they become issues, not all the time of course. I would take a look at the development of your and Derby's relationship as an example....a very positive example
I think you have both been extremely mature and clear headed which I personnaly feel is creating a great foundation to explore further.
Did I just earn veteran stripes?
So much for mature LOL.
But I feel the same way about people calling themselves leaders. I think it's something that has to be earned and recognized by others. And just because something has worked for you (the leader) doesn't mean that it's going to work the same way for anyone else.
I do think that newbies do expect a more rational approach from those who have been in pervious poly relationships. For the most part they probably aren't wrong to expect it. It's like rasing kids, with the first one every stage is new and you always feel a bit lost. With any children after the first you have an idea of what's going to come next. It might not be any easier but at least you have some tools to try out.