Beautiful post Lilo, thank you for taking the time to put it so clearly on here.
Originally Posted by redpepper
Part of this is that Mono (and correct me if I am wrong my love) doesn't think that his family will approve. He also thinks that this is in some way taking away from the marriage he had with his wife. He is so very mono after all. One cannot have more than one ceremony in a life time or it will take away from the other. .
This is not about approval, but understanding. I cannot expect my family/friends to understand something that I need more time to understand myself. I need to come to my own understanding of what we would be saying to those around us. I need to feel the value for myself in order to want to share that message. I can't form a solid picture of what non-monogamous ceremonial commitment means. No matter how many times I hear it explained it always comes down to the same thing for me..... I don't understand it. That is where I am experiencing a block. Commitment in a marraige sense comes with a very clear definition to me...not a higher purpose or a greater commitment, but a specific condition of exclusivity. I need to redefine what my understaning of a marraige could be about.
Our union will not take anything away from the meaning of my previous relationship. We have a much different type of connection, a different dynamic in many ways....it is unique and beautiful and will be celebrated as such when the time is right