I have a small situational conundrum and I was wondeirng what people have done/would do in the same spot.
My primary, T is still very new to polyamory but he has taken leaps and bounds in being accepting of it and I am appreciative of it every day. His biggest concern with it is being excluded and someone else getting more time, attention and love than him, which I understand and it is something that makes me nervous as well. There is another man in the situation who I have just begun seeing and who says he is alright with the fact that I have a primary relationships though has admitted to having been jealous in the past though since this is still very new I'm not sure how bad and far in the past. Let's call him J.
On Saturday J is having a party to which I am invited and I would love to go. However, he and I have been spending a lot of time together and T has voiced his concern once already and I want to honour this since I know he would do the same for me. But I do really want to go to this party.
Another part to this is the fact that J and his roommate host a monthly bookclub (how we met) and T has been wonderful in letting me go to this bookclub on my own so that I have a chance to meet people outside of our main social circle. This month's bookclub is the night after the party. The final thing is that J called and asked if we could spend a day together the week following the bookclub and party, which I'm thrilled about.
But as I mentioned before T is getting concerned about how much time J and I are spending together and I haven't brought up the day J has asked for, also I know T would really like to go to this party since he would like to get to know J more but since things are still new between J and I I'm not sure how J would feel about it and I don't know if I am going to have time to talk with him about it. So...should I invite T to the party? What would be the best course of action in this situation? Am I being clear?