FIRST of all Mon-
If you weren't worthy-you wouldn't be together. You are well aware that this thought process is a self-inflicted lie. It's not easy to fight them, but you are a strong man, you can-so please do!
SECOND- while I am sure there are times that you do disappoint RP (I know that the guys disappoint me at times) the truth is that we ALL do that at times, we simply aren't able to avoid it completely. That's part of learning, growing, bettering ourselves and our relationships.
Now to your topic-
We've talked on this before. I THINK I do get what you are saying (God knows I've been wrong so no guarantees). Mostly what I hear is that you simply don't understand what it means to do the step.
I read your post here today-and my heart did a little flip and I felt like I HAD to write. Please bare with me;
17 years ago GG fell in love with me.
15 years ago I took his virginity.
I knew I loved him too.
At first-he was too young, immature and inexperienced in adult responsibilities for me to consider dating. But that changed. What didn't change was his willingness to do the following:
1.ASK me to be his g/f or wife or whatever.
2. ACKNOWLEDGE our relationship and love for one another.
I don't think we're (as a family) anywhere ready for a commitment ceremony-but someday that would mean a lot to me.
Why isn't that I doubt either men's love for me or commitment to me, not at all.
It's more of a special memory to associate with that commitment.
Like the collaring ceremony Mon-it's certainly not "traditional" like a wedding. You keep comparing the commitment ceremony to a wedding.
But really I think it would make more sense to compare it to a collaring ceremony.
There are similarities between all 3, but two are NOT traditional in nature-and one very much is.
Do you know what I mean?
Anyway-the collaring ceremony for Maca and I, it's not about MAKING our commitment. We've already done that. It's not really about ACKNOWLEDGING our commitment-obviously if you, RP, Midnightsun, GG etc know about it, then it's been acknowledged.
It's more about taking action to show each other in a physical way the significance of our commitment.
Especially in a world that takes marriage for granted, which seems one of the most "ultimate" commitments available, we don't want each other to feel as though this commitment is in ANY WAY "minor".
I personally would prefer to have a family commitment ceremony where each of the couples (not SEXUAL couples, just couples) promised to one each other and the family as a whole their commitments.
Have you talked about the options?
Even in weddings things like that are done you know?
Maca and I exchanged vows with one another AND with each others children during our wedding ceremony. It was a FULL formal church ceremony and we exchanged rings with the kids and the whole works....
"Love As Thou Wilt"