@JaneQSmith I think that's good advice about Arlo, he needs to figure out if he wants to even be here. I'm glad someone can relate to my sexuality, which seems to be more emotionally/romantically attracted to women, more sexually attracted to men.
It sounds awful to say, but I've been with more men simply because it's easier, they're always around, offering themselves to me. I rarely have to look for them.
Women--at least, the sort of women I like, fair, feminine, and feline, tend to show up few and far between in my life. Up until recently, I'd given up on the idea of ever meeting a compatible woman, but I have to be honest with myself that a beautiful, compassionate woman is really what I want.
I've been trying to be more involved with the GLBT community here lately, but very few of the lesbians I know seem to want to give me the time of day. They don't invite me out when they go out, they won't introduce me to their friends, etc. I don't dress like they do with short hair, no make up, tattoos, and, of course, I have a man in my bed, so apparently, my sexuality doesn't count. One lesbian I was trying to make friends with propositioned me sexually, but when I said "let's just hang out as friends and see where it goes," she accused me of only liking "femmes" (yeah, true) and she stopped returning my texts. I got the feeling I was good enough to fuck, but she'd be embarrassed to be seen with me around her lesbian friends.
The local "swinger" community, on the other hand, has been much more accepting of me, though most of them seem a bit mystified as to my methods and motivations. One thing I admire about swingers is that they seem to be able to find something attractive about most people. This one swinger couple I'm good friends with recently decided to try full-blown polyamory, and they both found people they wanted to date right away.
Anyway, thanks for reading and for your input!
Female, bi, mid 40's
gf Melinda, lesbian, early 30's
STBX husband Arlo