Originally Posted by Trying
He should have told her from the very first. It's just plain rude.
If i were that girl, I would feel extremely hurt. It happened to me; I agreed to a casual relationship but I didn't find out for a while that the reason we were being casual and not official was because he had also started seeing another girl and i had originally been under the impression that i was currently the only one.
It hurt a LOT. He is going to hurt this girl and she will feel betrayed if he doesn't let on that "seeing other people" means "seeing one specific primary person for the past year, oh yea btw she knows all about you."
it just seems inconsiderate. She should have a better idea of your relationship dynamic besides "seeing other people" which could totally mean just random hookups or other casual interests, not a long-term primary relationship.
These are my thoughts exactly. I keep trying to tell him this, and he asks why am I concerned about her feelings. That he has told her it was casual and she hasn't asked anything more or pushed the issue.
I don't want any one to get hurt...I just feel like a rock in a hard place, I just want him to do the right thing.
I'm sorry you got hurt..I agree it sucks in big way
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
see if you can get your hands on the book Opening Up at a used book store (always cheaper that way).
It has a GREAT list of "things to consider when making a boundary list in an open relationship".
We found it VERY eye-opening and VERY VERY helpful! I think we've avoided a LOT of issues we would have struggled through unwittingly simply becuase of that book.
Thank you for the recommendation, I've heard about it but rarely have found it in my local bookstore...I'll have to order it online!!