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Old 04-20-2010, 12:33 AM
samaki82 samaki82 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
I'm not seeing the reason why it would be your last?
What I meant is that I didn't know if I was going to be able to emotionally handle another relationship right now and probably not for a while.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
As you mentioned, the other guy was a poor communicator. So if your first boyfriend ever had been a poor communicator, would you have sworn off dating for good?


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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
One idea for next time could be to take it more slowly and getting a feel for his communication skills before it gets too far.
I agree with you there. Sometimes it is hard to keep those feelings in check and I tend to jump into relationships fast.

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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
More importantly, how did it go for you and the boyfriend of 6 1/2 years?
The relationship part he was ok with and was very open about it. We kept a really good line of communication going the entire time. There were some difficult moments at the end of the relationship with the other guy because it affected me.

I feel that this experience has made me appreciate my current relationship more and made me realize what I have. Sometimes in long relationships that can be lost a little. I feel a lot more stable in my relationship now.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
One of the great things about poly is you can have "NRE" (new relationship energy) while maintaining the comfortable stability of a long-term relationship.

If your ideal setup is the one long-term relationship with a series of side flings, I would probably suggest being honest about that with any new partners: that you're not looking for a second long-term relationship. That way they're not investing too much long-term energy into something only to have the rug pulled out.
I wouldn't really say I was looking for flings. I've had that. It wasn't something that I was seeking out. It just happened. I was very open from the beginning and throughout the relationship with everyone involved. I just think that the other guy wasn't being honest with himself and thinking that he could change what he wanted.

I appreciate the response, thank you.
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