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Old 04-20-2010, 12:30 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
FIRST-stop focusing on the EMOTIONS you are feeling and start focusing on your LONG TERM GOALS.
Second-make a list of what you absolutely NEED.
Third-make a list of things you would PREFER.
Fourth-make a list of 5 things you can do today to start pursuing the effort to get the things on your list.
Fifth-stop and think about what it is you are doing. THINKING something sounds "fun" is not the same as REALLY considering ALL OF THE POSSIBLE CONSEQUENCES.
Originally Posted by samaki82 View Post
I've never heard such generic, self-advertising crap in my life. I really hope she doesn't take this advice to heart.
LR's (sound) advice was based on behavior and plans as a method to overcome emotional reactions.

Originally Posted by samaki82 View Post
I can't say that I've been in that type of situation and I'm new to this whole thing as well,
LR's been in a very functional poly relationship for what, 12 years? No offence samaki, but before you say someone is full of generic, self-advertising crap, it may be useful to find out whether she knows what she's talking about. I've only been on this forum for a couple months, but I've already seen that LR knows her shit. I'm sorry, but anyone who has had the same two partners for 12 years, while raising children, undergoing health issues, and thriving while doing it, is more than qualified to give any advice she bloody well wants to!!

I also don't see the "self-advertising" part... where did she say "Read my book about how to have a poly relationship" ? She suggested an action plan to get past the emotional flailing that the original poster was doing. The simple act of making a plan can do wonders for the psyche and help emotions get under control. What good does it do to wallow?

And generic advice is better than no advice. You can't give specific advice when you don't know someone personally. Not only that, but anyone can come along and read generic advice and find something useful in it, not just the OP.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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