I can understand feeling overwhelmed. Sex for me brings a strong emotional connection that I don't take lightly and for me makes me bonded for life with that person. Whether I or them like it or not. I have come to know that with many hurtful and painful experiences along the way, including swinging, dating a couple, dating someone with my husband etc. and with the loves in my life now. My experience has taught me to check with who I am with what their take is on connection and sex. Not that they have to be the same as me but so we are all aware. I don't want to find myself in pain because someone is not connected and bonded to me as I am them. If I know then I can emotionally deal with the fall out if it ends. Or at least attempt to and not be surprised.
It sounds like you have come to the settling down time of your relationship where there is a natural turning point where levels of commitment need to be discussed and some boundaries to decide upon that don't involve sex. Sex is really a small part of what makes us feel a part of something deep in relationships it seems. Perhaps this is why it can sometimes fade and become like routine for some people. Maybe now is the time to talk about the future and what each other means to the other. Some talk about support for one another. Where the kids are in all of this. Who is willing to go beyond the sexual aspects of the relationship. It seems you have that down pat nicely, its the rest it sounds like you wonder about. So start communicating honestly.
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