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Old 06-17-2014, 02:37 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
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Default On Envy, and Other Random Crap...

Envy... Sibling of Jealousy, the so-called green-eyed monster. Except, jealousy is supposed to be related to us wishing we were someone else, rather than envy being wishing we had something we don't.

I dunno - I guess I find all that stuff envy of some sort, but maybe that's just me. Envy of a particular relation, envy of a particular perk or thing that I don't have. Envy of a particular experience. I don't want to be anyone else... I like me, fer cryin' out loud, but I sure as hell get envious of the things other people do or have sometimes. Thou shalt not covet. Oops.

Except today, it's not poly-related at all.

Ex-hubby called today to say he wants to take the kids to Blue Man Group AND Cirque de Soleil. Which I would have already done, except I'm paying off house debt AND child support... the child support which is helping the ex take the girls out.

Sigh.

Not a big deal, overall, I guess. I do what I can, and we do spend time together (board games FTW!), but still... Blue Man Group would be nice to take the girls to, since I know they'd enjoy it.

So yes, I envy his ability to take the girls out to movies, out to eat, and out to shows all the time while I pay off my house, its furnishings, and buckle down. I get annoyed at the fact that child support funds it (when the only reason I'm paying it is because I wanted to be nice and leave him the house since his mom gave us the land and all). Bleh. I felt like a paycheck when I was married to him, and that hasn't changed.

Envy ain't just a poly problem. Boy, does it have some serious parallels, though.

Such is life. The girls love me, I love them, they love (smothering) the cats (with affection), and so it goes. The competition game is a bad scene, and the kids learn to play that, so I'm not going that route. Disney was the big deal for a while... next up, camping (mua-ha-haa...).

Still going through the estate and getting paperwork filed. Day by day. Found a firearm as part of the estate (AAACK!) that I thought was illegal (double AAACK!), but the local PD just told me to sell it and gave me the address of a local gun shop. In another state, I'd be turning it in. In NH? The cop is giving me advice on getting the best $$ for it. Gotta love it.

Sorting through the mega-stamp collection, the trading card collection, and the hunting weapon collection (WTF?!). I'm surprised we didn't find Mom's pog collection in among everything. But we haven't gone through all the boxes yet. I did find a SWEET Star Trek set of coasters. And yes, a geek party is in the works.

Hope everyone is doing well, despite the Monday-ness of it all!
__________________
Dramatis personae:
Me: Mono. Divorced, two kids (DanceGirl, 13; and PokéGirl, 10), two cats, one house, many projects.
Chops: My partner. Poly. In relationships with me, Xena, and Noa.
Xena: Poly. In relationships with Chops and Noa, and dating others.
Noa: Married, Poly. In relationships with Chops and Xena (individually).

Blog thread: A Mono's Journey Into Poly-Land (or, "Aw hell, there's no road map?!")
Slightly more polished blog with a mono/poly focus: From Baltic to Boardwalk
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