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Old 04-19-2010, 05:57 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by ak2381 View Post
So husband and J have this whole dom/sub thing with their relationship. It is a big thrill for the both of them. I had asked him awhile ago that I would like him to give me some of this excitement to me as well. I felt like I got the boring sex and time and she got the fun nights.
Thats fair. I can explain what happened with me in this case. My wife and I used to play a lot. Some things happened that ended up stopping this kind of play. Whenever we have taken a partner, that was half the fun, my ability to play.

This last time around I realized I really missed it, a lot. So did my wife. We had to bring it back into our "couple" relationship. But it did take work. I felt like I couldn't dom her, disrespect her or hurt her physically because she was my wife. I had to relearn that I could and she wanted it

. He calls her Kitten because of a little choker she wears. He just now started calling me Angel again because of that so I didn't feel so inferior and less important. I do appreciate his efforts.
Are you sure, or maybe he is finding his groove again? Are you assuming or have you asked.

So he does what I ask and brings home some of the excitement of BDSM and the whole dom lifestyle. We are purely in bedroom with that stuff. I know some make it a full lifestyle but outside the bedroom we don't so we can show our daughter that we are equals and I am not less than he is.
Through bringing home the dom/sub life he has asked me to call him sir in the bedroom and wear the garters and such again. I do as I am asked because that comes with it. But I almost feel like a copycat, a second thought.
You are you, and she is she. Don't feel like a copycat. Besides you could do some serious roleplaying with this if you wanted. Think devil, angel dynamic...(and no I don't mean you all have to be together )

He knows these are my worries and tries to reassure me that this is simply because it is something he likes, not because he is trying to make a carbon copy of J. I understand this but it feels wierd and I have a hard time not picturing them when he does this. I guess time will give me what I need and I will get use to doing this stuff again. After all I had it once a long time ago and lost it. It isn't her fault she does it now instead of me. I should have never let this go. I was a little upset about the sir thing since he told me he didn't like it and then a few years later got a thrill when she did it.
He is telling you one thing and you don't believe him. Why are you distrusting of what he says. I find bdsm has a groove, a mojo to itself. As you steer away from it, you loose it. I would be excited in the fact he is finding that groove again (with someone else) but bringing it back and sharing it with you. This is a positive thing, personally

Best of luck,
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