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Old 04-19-2010, 05:56 PM
nejthefroggie nejthefroggie is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 3
Default 'Friends With Benefits'

Hey all,

First of all, I know that this topic may not fit in as part of polyamory for some folks, but I could really use some advice, and this was the best place I could think of to seek it.

I'll start by introducing myself: I'm Nej, a 24-year-old Polyamorous Pansexual quiet sort of geek, but very friendly and loyal once you get to know me

A bit of background: I just recently got out of a long-term (read: 5+ year) relationship. It was my first relationship, and monogamous, during which I came to the realization that I was poly, and my partner ultimately decided she couldn't deal with that, which ended up being the dealbreaker for the relationship. These days I'm feeling kinda lonely and having a bit of difficulty finding things with which to fill my time.

Anyways, even though I don't have any romantic relationships on the horizon currently, I seem to have acquired a friends with benefits-type situation. Actually, the 'friends' and 'benefits' happened pretty much simultaneously, which was kind of nice - since friends with benefits is in itself the foundation of the friendship, there's no risk of ruining the friendship by introducing sex into it.

Anyway, the problem part is that I think I might be falling for him, and he has hinted in the past that he would be open to more if the possibility arose. What's the problem, you ask? Well, he's in a relationship. And his girlfriend has allowed sex outside of their relationship, but disallowed outside romantic relationships. Now, guy and I already share quite a bit of affection with each other in addition to the sexual aspect of our friendship, so I had already been questioning if this was pushing the girlfriend's boundaries, but we talked and he says it's fine, so I'm inclined to trust him on that one.

How should I handle this? I really value what we have now, and don't want to jeopardize it, but neither do I want to be dishonest with him or with myself.

Thanks in advance!
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