On this I can offer both advise as well as insight, you see, been there done that!!
As I stated in my introduction I am bi and my husband is very understanding. When I first came to realize I was Bi my husband told me I could have a gf but that she had to be someone that he could love as well so she could be involved with the whole family not just me on the side, he also asked that I not "sleep around" as there are quite a few nasties running around these days (my husband tends to be old fashioned at times, God love him). I suggested we try the polylifestyle and find someone we could both love and who would love us both in return. At first it seemed all would go great and the hunt for that special woman started.
Fast forward to the first partner we found....
The woman stated she was a true bi and that this lifestyle was what she wanted but after a week or two into the relationship she started trying to spend more and more time with my husband alone, this he told her, would not work and the more he tried to get things on an even foot the more she tried and the more jealous I got. After that I had a hard time trusting any woman we found until our last partner, a woman who did everthing in her power to prove to me that she really did want to be an equal partner, in the end she was the perfect partner but due to circumstances beyond our control the relationship ended though we are still friends. It has taken me a while to understand that even though I have my insecurities(don't we all?) that the love the two of us has is stronger than anything and since we aren't swingers this lifestyle is perfect for us. If your wife is trying to ask you about the lifestyle why not get her on here as well and let her check some of us out? We are all pretty open about how our experiences are going or have gone and I don't know bout the rest of them but I know I am willing to answer any questions that might arise if it will help someone out.
There is no life without freedom, the freedom to be who and what you are.