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Old 06-15-2014, 02:56 AM
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YouAreHere YouAreHere is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: SoNH
Posts: 1,341
Default Been quiet lately...

It's actually been a fairly quiet two weeks... I haven't heard anything else with respect to the vulture. I got indignant for a while, but honestly, if the rightful property owner doesn't want to deal with her and just releases any claim to the place, I wouldn't blame him. She's tenacious and annoying. But she's also not my problem anymore, so I've been a bit more calm about it all.

Thiiiiiiiiiiiis close <holds fingers a teeny bit apart> to getting the Administratrix/Executrix paperwork filed. The lawyers were a bit slow, but honestly, the estate wasn't going anywhere. The only thing that may be a bit more annoying with the delay is dealing with the post office, but it shouldn't be a big deal.

Baby sis flew up again yesterday - her friend is moving to Florida and she was going to ride back home with him, with her stuff from mom's place in tow. Except, the truck's inoperable and his car has no room, so I got to see Baby Sis (and her friend and his mom), but she doesn't get to bring her stuff back. Oops. Details.

The good news is, she wants to come up again in a month to try again. The kids love her to pieces, and we have a great time together, so I'm looking forward to it.

I'm doing okay - I think people feel I should be more broken up than I am, and I feel odd about that. I have no regrets about my relationship with my mom, other than maybe not having more time to do things together (a family trip to Disney was taking shape in idea-space, and I get a bit sad thinking that it won't ever happen). No real big emotional jags after the first couple weeks, just some hits here and there (seeing my car parked in my driveway next to hers gives me a lump in my throat every time). I've been sorting through the things we brought back from her place... in among the GINORMOUS stamp collection that we'll be selling as part of the estate, I've found some family letters and other records that are interesting pieces of history, and some nice written insights into the rest of the family. Also found a Lithuanian prayer book (Catholic) from the 1913 era, as well as a couple letters (Lithuanian) from 1936 and 1940. I love this stuff, so it's very bittersweet - I obviously don't like the reason for it all, but finding bits of my family's history is wonderful.

Relationship-wise, things have been calm and quiet - at least as far as conflict goes. Chops and I feel extremely close, and there really hasn't been much emotional wavering lately. The "partner" concerns seem like a moot point now that there really HAS been that emergency moment, and he was there.

It almost appalls me now to think that, in those first couple hours after finding out, when I got through to him and told him, I didn't know if I should ask him to come up or not... He basically had to ask me point-blank what I wanted him to do before I admitted to myself that yes, this is an I-need-Chops-here moment. I'm not sure if it's an I-can-be-strong-and-not-ask-much-of-anyone moment, or if it was an I-don't-want-to-take-Chops-on-Xena's-night moment, or a combination of both, but in hindsight, I'd slap myself if I hadn't come to the conclusion I did. Sheesh. I need support too, despite how much I tend to gravitate into that support role for others.

I saw myself doing that when my coworkers came up to express their condolences after I came back to work... telling people how people's stories of mom made everyone smile, and how that was really nice, so there was a good side to all of it. Not that it isn't true, but I feel like I'm trying to make them feel better, which is back-assward from their initial intent.

Ah well... I feel better when others feel better. The curse of the people-pleaser.

At any rate, Chops and I have found some sort of happy groove lately, and I really haven't had any emotional roller coaster moments about the time thing, or the poly thing, or anything for that matter. It's just been good, and I'm grateful for that.

Muddling along, sorting through stuff, waiting for the paperwork to become official, and finding gems along the way, with an emotional moment here and there. Not too bad, I guess.

In other news, Amazon has added music streaming to their Prime membership, so here I am listening to albums that I've been thinking about buying but haven't (some I like, some not so much), streaming them to the TV (after finding a screensaver bookmarklet for the Chromecast so I don't burn the screen in to my TV), and I'm kinda enjoying the ability to geek out while I groove. Oh, and I found a stack of Star Trek coasters that my mom had - letting the family nerd flag fly high!

Goodnight, all! Wishing all the dads on the board a Happy Fathers' Day tomorrow!
Dramatis personae:
Me: 46/F, Divorced with 2 kids, 2 cats, fish, a tarantula, and a 1930s house with many projects.
Chops: 47/M, Partner of 6 years, lives half-time with me, half with Xena.
Spinner: 52/M, Friend I've been on a few dates with. Divorced, Mono, wrapping his head around it all.
Xena: 47/F, Chops' other nesting partner of 6 years
Curls: 50/F, Chops' partner of 1 year

Supporting Characters:
Choplet: Chops' son
DanceGirl: My oldest daughter
Pokégirl: My youngest daughter
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