Originally Posted by AJoy
While there are things about tenure I don't agree with, I'm thankful for it for this reason. It takes significant cause, a trial, and burden of proof to fire a tenure teacher. I think one of the reasons to bring a teacher up for trial has something to do with morality, which someone might try to make a case for, but I'm pretty sure that would be a tough one to pull off since my relationship has no impact on my teaching abilities.
Sheesh...I've thought through all of this before. (A lot), but just talking about it again makes me sad. Why does my (or anyone's) love have to be a cause of anxiety with regards to job security and possible discrimination in the work place???
I'm sorry but I think you are being a bit naive. Very few of our relationships impact on our ability to do our job. And generally people are very happy to be friendly and nice when they think you are just like them, normal, hetrosexual, mow the lawn on saturdays, sex once a week kinda people. And people can turn quite differently when their children are involved. Who knows what ideas you might fill their kids' heads with. Its not a logical argument.
Its about bringing the profession and your particular workplace into disrepute. Dagferi makes an excellent point on this.
Despite having tenure (which i guess is just a permanent contract?) they can find ways to fire you. It just won't on the surface be for a relationship.
As mentioned above, i was being eased out of a job simply for admitting to being bisexual. Suddenly, my colleagues were very uncomfortable around me. I was excluded from conversations, ostracized and criticised. My line manager because extremely demanding and nothing i did was right, despite the person i actually worked for being extremely happy with my work. Suddenly i was being called in for formal capability meetings and under remedial measures for improvement. Even though nothing about my work had changed. I wasn't in or just getting out of a relationship, so i wasn't distracted or stressed. The only factor that changed was my sexuality became known. Ultimately i left before they could make the case to fire me. But i knew it was coming. And i would never be able to prove the reason behind it all.
And people talk. You might trust one or two people to tell. But they will likely tell someone else and tell someone else. And before you know it, everyone knows. There's whispering in corners.
I can completely understand that you want to tell people and be open about your relationships. But there is a difference from people making assumptions and inferences and you confronting them with the facts. Be honest with yourself about why these people NEED to know. Most people in your life are just acquaintances and don't need to know the ins and outs of your private relationships.
And i do know how hard it is to have to censure your conversations with people and the guilt you feel to one partner or the other if you omit them when talking to a colleague.