No idea where to even start but I am 40 yrs old and dated someone on and off for 10 yrs and cheated on him the entire time. We had one or two instances where we had threesomes with our friends (male and female) but that was short lived.
Fast forward to now and I met someone about 8 months ago that I am completely in love with. He is a few years older, same religious background, a wonderful person and we have talked about kids and marriage and the whole deal. He knows I am bi curious ( it has been over 7 yrs since anything with another woman) and initially I teased him with the entire 3 some notion, but honestly I am just way too sensitive and insecure to start with that at this point in life.
One piece I am leaving out is that he is bi-polar. It is controlled with medication and therapy, but he does have a tendency to act out in regard to going on about ex's and leer at other women and it is upsetting to me. We have been able to work through that and we have both been very sexually and emotionally open with each other. Last week he mentioned in a joking manner about us being a primary in a poly relationship. I was hurt and devastated and almost called the whole relationship off. He assured me that he had not been seeking anyone out but that he was curious about it all. I expressed dissapointment and that I didnt want to be shared or share him with anyone else. I am honestly afraid that my jealousy and insecurity are going to be the downfall of this relationship. I half agreed to do some more voyeuristic/ exhibitionist type of things with him but dont think I am ready for poly yet. I honestly want to marry this man and would do almost anything for him. Any advice please.