Wow, thank you for your thoughts everyone. I truly took something from every reply and am still considering everything that's been said. It definitely made me feel more sane! Glad I'm not alone in my perception of the situation.
FullofLove1052: therapy is something I'm very interested in, and he has agreed to go. The problem is finding a poly friendly therapist... We live in the bible belt, and not in a very big city either. I'd rather not rush into it and have a super bad experience but I'm hoping I'll find someone soon. You may be right that there is something lost in the communication. I feel like I'm asking the right questions but they may not click with him or maybe just make him feel defensive. Hopefully therapy can help with this.
GalaGirl: He would prefer us to date as a couple, or not at all. He doesn't particularly want to date but is dead set against me doing it alone. You are right about us dancing around the tough stuff until it's basically too late and that is definitely something I will think about regarding all aspects of the relationship. Your post was very thought-provoking, so thank you for that and also for the links! I skimmed them and hope they will be helpful.
LoveBunny: this really resonated with me, thank you. I will definitely keep your words in mind going forward. All else considered I will probably use the idea of giving him a set timeframe, hopefully after we get into therapy so that there is an outlet to work through feelings.
Thanks again to everyone who posted, I really appreciate the different perspectives.
Last edited by WhiteTulips; 06-10-2014 at 09:37 AM.