Finality came today. The first move in a one-two punch representing the end of an era in my life. Iíll be twice divorced within the next month. Am I allowed to mention that? Edit, edit, cnrl+alt+del. My settlement came through and Iíll be able to pay off some debt. Whoopie!!!
I have been busting my ass lately. Working a 6 day week more often than not. This week is forming and two concrete pours. Fun stuff
At least I donít need to go to the gym, and working outside this time of year has its benefits. I try and soak up as much warmth as I can, as these memories will serve well when Iím freezing in an ice rain come December. Iím finally in a headspace to take on more responsibility at work and have a helper again. The next house is pretty much me, maybe a trail run at breaking off some framing forming subcontracting. Really itís the only way to make more money. The housing market continues to climb in this Valley, and we have a nice custom build market corner going on at our little lake. Iím glad I stuck around.
Had to recover some from the weekend with Chiquita/Raven. Those Ladies certainly put me through my paces haha. It was an intense transition day Friday last week when they came, but in a good and fun way. Developing the skill of turning on and off the different relationship diaspora. Focusing on each person / experience in the moment. Stay in the moment people! Seems to have ramped me up sexually as well. Saw Chi this weekend and we burned the house down. Chemically we just cook lol. Sheís got some leads in her Lady hunt, and itís nice to see her blossoming into her own sexuality. We are super positive with each other, and I find myself having all the feelings for her. We talk about it and its all good, she is so chill and calm, a good listener. A plain speaker. She means what she says and says what she means. Loyal and supportive. Iím pretty happy about our connection as its working out, although the LDR thing has been on my mind lately. Eventually I am going to want to spend more than one night a week with someone, and so is she. Feeling no pressure to force a resolution, Iím enjoying this more backed off approach to relationship.
Ravens visit was awesome, and brought up a lot of the feelings across the board. Knowing it was only two days we didnít try and do too much. Iím glad she was feeling rested and relaxed when she got home, and I enjoyed hearing all her stories about her dude in her town, he sounds like a really fine feller. Not having seen her for so long, as well as our dramatic traumatic triad implosion produced a sort of confliction that came about during the week. I put it down to residual emotion, Iím not into dragging myself through that muck again and again. Felt good to pick it up and put it down, fairly easily. Iím pretty happy at the state and pace of my recovery from the death of my marriage. It is a journey only those who have travelled down that path understand. Hugs and respect to all those who have been through that, it shakes you to your bones. Xo
Had a real nice walk and talk with Gran, she finally pulled the plug on her bi-polar friend. I feel for her and that loyalty and nurturing and helping desire in her for people with mental illness, sheís a trooper. And hella sexy. And funny. Hanging out with her made me have some pangs for a more local connection. Someone I could easily hang out with, and have more access to. As my heart heals, I can feel that desire again. Desire for some form of partnership in a more daily way. Texting as the main form of interaction wonít cut it for ever, right? Right now we are flirty friends. I respect her a lot. I have been upfront with her about my Lady friends, she appreciated. So more of that in the future Iím supposing.
Finally had a chat with Mz. Black bless her heart. We connect instantly, two Aquarians clicking. Itís so easy to talk to her, and I enjoyed hearing about a special connection she has been fostering. Although our paths diverged we still share a special closeness. Intimate and heartfelt. She is an amazing woman. Iím glad I can share my thoughts and experiences and she can glean some benefit in that. I like being her confidant, and find it so easy to be supportive and a good poly resource person for her. I so enjoy the uniqueness of all the connections I have been having. Itís so easy to overlook the subtleties of people when pursuing an idealised version of relationship.