Thank you, mmkeekah. I hope I can deal with this, and I'm trying. It's just very strange to me still, so far. On a personal level. On an intellectual level, I've had this thought experiment all the time.
Actually, since we had had this discussion before it happened, I'm very glad that we prepared. Because basically, we dodged a bullet, here. If this had happened, and we had a strictly monogamous relationship, it would either be over, or ruined at some level, and it is neither. It's just that it's different, and I'm relieved that it's still there, and not ruined. I just don't know how to keep the grief from causing depressive symptoms that my conscious mind cannot control.