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Old 06-05-2014, 12:20 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 822

I talked to Hubby about what my mother said, because I wanted to make sure he knew he could tell me if he had any issues regarding my relationship with Guy.

His response was, "I don't have a single problem with it. I'm HAPPY that Guy is in our lives. He makes you happy, and that's what I want. And it's comforting to me to know if something ever happened to me, you would still have him. So tell your mother to back off." (Which I did.)

I've been leaning on Guy a lot this week because I've been struggling with household/marriage-related stuff that I can't talk to Hubby about. Some of it's stuff he doesn't want to hear about (like finances) and some of it's stuff he isn't able to be supportive about (like my 15-year-old acting like he and I are just ATM and food machines and otherwise aren't worth her time or respect, which is an ongoing issue that her dad and stepmom also experience because she's going through adolescence while navigating life with Asperger's). Hubby knows I talk to Guy about these things; that's another reason he's glad Guy is around, because I have someone else I trust enough to talk to about problems. Guy is able to give support and sometimes advice because he isn't involved in the finances so isn't emotionally affected by those issues; and he also has a child with Asperger's, though his son is only 7 and hasn't been officially diagnosed yet, plus he's been in the situation of having a teenage stepdaughter, so he can empathize with both me and Hubby regarding my daughter.

I've also been having other problems that Hubby doesn't quite understand, because he can only see how *he* would respond to them and can't comprehend the way *I* respond. Guy comprehends, so he's been more supportive and comforting about that too.

Guy has a knack for saying some of the sweetest things... Last night when I was talking to him about all the stuff piling up on me emotionally, I told him I wished he was with me holding me while I talked. He said, "Baby, I *am* there with you holding you."

On another note, I don't usually like it when men call me "baby" even if I'm dating them... Guy is allowed, though. "Honey" is Hubby's pet name for me, so I wouldn't feel right if Guy also called me that (plus that isn't a word Guy would use), and Guy tends to call most of his female friends "Darlin." He wanted to call me something that was exclusive to me.
Me: 45, cis-het female, poly
Hubby: my husband, 42, monogamous
My daughters: Alt (age 20) and Country (age 17)
Guy: ex-boyfriend, occasional confidant
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