Not all poly people want to live in a commune!
Far from it.
Lots of poly people need lots of personal space. In fact, when my gf miss pixi and I moved in together a year ago, we searched for found a house that has 1000 sq feet upstairs and an equal space in the refinished basement. We can each retreat to a floor for hours at a time if we need to. We do love cooking together and sharing a kitchen. We love to sleep together and cuddle in front of the huge TV in our girl cave (basement). We have a full bath and 2 half baths for our girly grooming needs. We have a yard and a deck. And a dog.
My bf Ginger is married, poly and has Asperger's syndrome, as does his wife. She lives in their main house, with their newly college graduated son who also has Asperger's. Ginger lives in a small cabin he built on their land. He has developed allergies to the main house, since it is part solar heated but augmented by a wood stove, and he can no longer deal with the particulates.
He and his wife don't like to share a bed for sleeping as their comfort needs don't match up. They also don't eat the same foods (allergies and preferences), so don't cook together.
I think it takes a certain mindset to want to live in a commune. Some mono or single people might be drawn to it. Some poly people wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37