Gala Girl had some good practical advice. I just want to give you sympathy that your bf got his wife pregnant without telling you they were trying. That means they stopped using birth control some time ago, and went bareback. I can see how that could throw you and make you feel like an outsider! I may not be as enlightened as some poly people. I'd be hurt and angry if that happened to me. I'd wonder about the trust and respect issues inherent in that situation.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
also loving Punk (42, M) since Oct 2015 (he has recently downgraded us to friends)
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years