Sunday morning. Iím up early having a coffee. Raven is snuggled in bed, I remember she likes to sleep in a bit so Iím being careful not to wake her, and I would get some thoughts out early and enjoy the day. Sheís only here until tonight, this has been a quick visit. It has been interesting to fall back so quickly into an intimate nature with someone after a prolonged period, 18 months or so. Our lives so very entrenched in places away from each other, but still very much apart and sharing that desire to be in each otherís lives. I have never done the LDR before, and I guess that is what her and I are doing. Packing in 48 hours to love and laugh and connect over beer and card games and walks by the river with my dog. To tumble into bed every few hours and make love and remember what it feels like to be together again, finally. Itís been a long road. I think in a lot of ways of this as a beginning, because after all that has gone between us, and a good long break in seeing each other, we are starting over. We are older, our lives are different. I have a little more grey in my whiskers, she jokes, and more tattoos. I find her more grounded in herself, more confident, more her own woman. We still share the chemistry that makes our physical connection blossom.
Today will be more of the same I think, and in a few hours Iíll be returning her to the big metal bird to fly her away from me, back to her life and family and friends in another city, not too far away. We talk about more visits, of me coming to visit her, which would be nice. Iíd like to visit her city, I had thoughts of moving there before I decided to get stable here, and Iím sure I will visit soon. I donít want to let so much time pass between us, and from what I have read on the boards LDR need frequent points of connection. Iíd love to get away, even for a weekend, just to have a change of pace. I start a new foundation next week so Iíll be busy for 6-8 weeks. That sounds about right.
I have been warned by the MODS of this site to stay away from discussing certain things, certain people, certain ďsituationsĒ, under the threat of infractions and potential banning. I donít wish to create drama here, or stir the shit, or provoke the ďpeanut galleryĒ. Iím not asking anyone to take sides. I can see how my words belay a certain hurt, anger and frustration, and how that can be potentially upsetting to others. I donít wish to be censored, but also understand that the site does not need to be a forum for conflict. To that end I will be moving forward into the future, my future, with tales of the present, and those that wish to share it with me. Iím not going to vent about the past, or those in it, or my observations about that, Iíll find another more personal way to do that. Ultimately I think this will be a good thing, and was moving in that direction inside myself anyways, so Iíll just take this as a sign that yes, this is the way forward. If I just disappear from here, well, then I guess I wasnít successful in my endeavour to self regulate.