Originally Posted by Araneidae
We've talked about how "strange" this potentially could be, at least by typical society standards. People find polyamory odd enough, but the potential of raising half-siblings in one poly family? On the pros side, we've also discussed that it makes things potentially easier to have so many people available for childcare, and the extra income that could be combined.
I'll also point out that S's other partner is not interested in having children at all with anyone, so this hasn't been a factor.
Has anyone experienced anything like this? What are the emotional consequences of being in a poly relationship when two or more individuals are considering having children? I'm a little worried that I would have difficulty handling the process of S becoming pregnant and them having another baby together, but I've tempered these feelings with the reassurance that it's also an option for me with this family (some day).
This isn't something that I know firsthand, but something I've repeatedly heard over and over.
I'm trying to find the actual internet source where I heard this, but I heard a rather outspoken poly-activist got her children taken away solely on the basis of her being polyamorous. Obviously, I think this is completely ludicrous because children are often exposed to MUCH worse dating and sexual habits. One of the things that she urged is to remain under the radar about the matter if you have children. I wouldn't say that you'd have to remain entirely closeted, but a lot of people think that non-monogamy itself isn't healthy for children to be exposed to, let alone a solid poly structure.
It really gets to me how children with solid, loving families are often taken away while the children who are actually suffering from abuse aren't always rescued from the situation, often for arbitrary reasons. When I was in high school, the social workers and legal authorities were well aware of the fact that my friend's mother had recurrently beat her and even once stabbed her, but they did nothing. Fast-forward into our early twenties, my friend is in a custody battle with another person we knew from high school. Unfortunately, she became pregnant with her lovely daughter because he raped her, something he's admitted on many occasions (while others have witnessed it
) but still doesn't get it. When he started talking about how my friend asked for it because she slept naked and they were dating (so it's obviously that justifies forcing himself onto her, both asleep and awake), my friend's lawyer told him that if he could have him locked away in prison for a very substantial amount of time if he'd said that on tape. Despite more solid evidence, my friend doesn't want to put her ex-lover in prison for her child's well-being, although she'd be living states away from him. Nonetheless, she's had to be very careful about revealing even the slightest bit of affiliation with any
alternative communities (notably, kink and polyamory) because his family is very eager to use it against her. I've heard stories like this more times than I can begin to recount.
With that said, I wish you the absolute best of luck for you, your poly-partners, and your future children.
I'll keep looking for the internet source to back my claim up and when I do, I'll post it here.