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Old 05-29-2014, 12:14 PM
KC43 KC43 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 548
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Doing my best to stay out of the conflict I mentioned in my last post. The friendship between Best Friend and the woman has pretty much disintegrated, so now I'm just being a leaning post for BF while he gets used to not having her in his life.

I've gotten a couple of interesting emails on OKCupid. One guy I would be interested in meeting if the conversation continues. The other guy, the conversation tapered off because I refused to give him details about my sex life with Hubby. Ugh.

Been at odds with Hubby this week because of finances. Not so much because we're struggling, but because he doesn't want to help me figure out how to fix the problem. We're doing okay now, but earlier this week was not fun at all. This is the issue with sharing a home/life/bank account... Not that I would trade it, I just wish Hubby would find a way of solving problems that doesn't involve hiding and hoping the problem goes away.

Had a long talk with Guy yesterday about my concerns about him talking to and possibly seeing the other woman. I will never tell him he can't talk to her or see her; I don't have anything against her, and they've been friends longer than Guy has known me. But when irrational fear gets stuck in my head, I've learned to talk to someone about it, and Guy understands that because of my anxiety disorder and depression, I can't always control those fears. I can recognize they're irrational, but sometimes I need help shaking them.

He said she hasn't been talking to him as much as it sounded like to me, and that he's been the one initiating most of the conversations, in preparation for seeing her at the band concert. He also said, "Remember, you have me, she doesn't" and when I told him I was afraid that if she got pissed off at me about the issue between her and Best Friend, or if she gets it into her head that the relationship isn't fair to Guy, she might try to convince Guy to break up with me. (Typing that, I can see how little sense that makes, but again... anxiety disorder.) Guy said our relationship is no one's business but mine, his, and Hubby's, and that he would never end the relationship just on someone else's say-so.

And then he said the best thing ever: "Remember, knowledge is certainty. You know I love you and am with you, so cling to that when fear starts to rear its head."

I'm really, really fortunate...
__________________
Me: 44, cis-het female, poly
Hubby: my husband, 42, monogamous
S2: my "attachment", male, 44, undetermined
Best Friend: male, 38, platonic; the one who keeps me sane through all this!
My daughters: Alt (age 19) and Country (age 16)
S2's sons: Spikes (age 9) and Beads (age 6)
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