About different ways to practise poly
My practical poly life is relatively short, but I did start subscribing to poly philosophy years earlier. I did some reading about the topic - not actively searching information but reading everything I happened to come across.
And, I happened to come across several articles about polyfi-situations. People who had two (seldom more) partners and claimed that poly is not all about sex, and that they were not looking for more partners. That actually they have now closed their relationship and it is not that much different from mono relationships, there are just more people involved.
I used to get irritated about these articles. At a time the “poly” aspect of my life was a lot about experimenting sexually, with the option of those experiments to become significant relationships. Even though I did agree that poly is not *all* about sex, to me the sexual part was very important. And I did my share of dating around and getting various sexual experiences. In the back of my mind there always was the option of those encounters becoming serious and committed.
It took me time to learn the appropriate lingo, and there were a few misunderstandings on the journey because of me not being clear enough of what I wanted. Nothing catastrophic, but a learning curve for me.
Now as I have been a while in a committed relationship with two individuals, I have no need to experiment anymore. Maybe the need comes back later in my life, but it is not here now. Just a couple of days ago I found myself thinking how I am not looking for new partners, how I am committed to living with these two persons and how being poly actually is very little about sex… Uh-oh!
Talking about coming full circle… Guess during this journey I have gained more understanding about life, learned new things about myself, and most importantly: noticed that we really do change all the time. I am not the same now as I was yesterday or a year ago.
I am a woman living with my two male partners: CJ (legal husband) and Mark (no label added).