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Old 05-25-2014, 12:10 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
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Time for a relationship update.

miss pixi's new bf/Master is pretty introverted, but he's becoming more and more comfortable with having her at his place. In fact, she is now at his place for a 2 night visit! I am basically OK with it, though since we've been living together for a year now, I am accustomed to having her around. I just need to remind myself I lived alone for 3 years, so I can manage 2 days without her. I am glad she's having fun with him.

Tomorrow will be 2 weeks since Ginger's operation on his prostate. It's been a rough recovery. He is still having bleeding. He still gets uncomfortable "down there." He hasn't driven a car yet.

I've seen him twice since the operation. The first time we just hung out, took a little walk, talked, kissed just a little. The 2nd time, a few days ago, he felt he wanted to try a little sexy time. We laid in his bed and made out, he did some nice things to me digitally and orally. I touched him a little but very gently. It was fun, and the cuddling when we let the sexy feeling die down was very good.

However, since then he's decided he should try more to not get aroused as he thinks he has more bleeding after an extended time being erect. That means, no visits from me, miss pixi or Carla. I miss him. This is difficult. I am managing sexually without him, miss pixi and I have sex, I can also take care of myself, but he misses the sex, and I wish I could at least cuddle him just for comfort and bonding. According to what he has researched, it could take many more weeks until he is healed enough for sexy time or actual intercourse. sigh...

I know he's still in the throes of NRE with Carla. Of course. They haven't even officially consummated yet. I find I really don't want to hear about her. I want to meet with her and David, along with Ginger, so I can find out if we can all get on the same page, but he's really not up to that challenge yet. So it's on hold, like everything else.

So, I feel uncomfortable still with him having this gf. I feel mostly OK with miss p being with her bf. Happy for her. Occasional twinges of jealousy and envy are fleeting. We have good sex, tons of cuddles, shared activities and words of love. But just the same, it's still difficult being with 2 partners who are in NRE with their new people!

I've stopped going to OK Cupid again. I had a few nibbles there, but nothing came of it, partly because men can suck, and partly because my heart just isn't in it right now.

Ginger and I IM chat a lot. He is able to do some work around his place, starting to get the screen porch back up on his little cabin, wiring up some outdoor lights to light the way from the main house and driveway up to his cabin. He can go shopping with his wife if she drives. He takes lots of walks on his land which can help him feel more comfortable in the surgery area.

I've been gardening a lot. Last year was spent getting the interior of our new place set up, and we did minimal gardening. This spring it's all about planting flowers! Fun! We also put 2 tomato plants on our deck.

If Ginger wasn't Aspie and being tactful came to him more naturally, this would be easier. Sometimes he just blurts things out about her in a way that results in me feeling down. I don't think he can change that. I have to learn to anticipate those times so I can just let it roll off my back.
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Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw

me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
We are both open to dating, but no serious other partners at the moment
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