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Old 04-16-2010, 06:53 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

I will approach my answer a little differently. What was said above is good advice. In regards to the D/s however, it might help you if you work towards understanding the "why". You say you can't figure out why they get pleasure out of it. Maybe you and your bf need to go to a munch (a social non sexual meeting with the bdsm community) and talk to a masochistic sub. There are a lot of reasons why people enjoy it. You might be surprised. Also read on various sites about what it is to be submissive/top/bottom/dom...

As for the poly. hmmm I know some doms with subs that aren't in any relationship beyond the D/s dynamic. They would not call themselves poly because for them the domination/submission is not always sexualized or "love". Again, you might want to discuss this at a munch or find more info on websites.

Keep in mind, I am not saying you need to get involved in the community, but understanding the why of the bdsm world might ease your mind a bit. It goes well beyond "beating the crap out of someone" is far from fightclub with whips and chains...

Since it reads like you want to make this work, figure out why he wants to do it and maybe you will understand.

Good luck
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