Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
Maybe you're just noticing all the poly breakups because of your headspace. It's not like all the monos are doing such a bang-up job of it either...
My question is... why the attachment to poly identity if you don't feel it's working? Poly is just a label. There's no point getting attached to a label if the associated behaviour and feelings don't flow naturally.
Focus instead on what you'd like out of life, what your needs are. Then look at strategies to meet those needs. If poly makes sense as one of those strategies then giv'er. But either way, just do what feels right for you.
I have to agree with Schroedinger. I have never labeled myself mono or poly. I would probably label myself "whatever works." (AKA as INTJ in some circles.
). What it sounds like to me, is that whatever is going on right now is not working for you. You don't have to commit yourself to a label or specific configuration. So may be focus specifically on the details. What is working in each relationship and what isn't.
-Me: 51, female, relationship anarchist
-The Philosopher: semi-LDR, 44, male - my intellectual twin; relationship anarchist.
-Intellectual Elf, 27, female, the Philosopher's LDR
-Polkadot, 36, dating the Philosopher
-Wiseman, 68, male, solo-poly, my budding LDR