Thread: open or poly?
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Old 05-15-2014, 02:28 PM
friskyone4u friskyone4u is offline
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: Major city Eastern USA
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Smiles,

I have read your posts, and I believe in one you said that you were not sure how you would react if your wife got interested in other men,. Right now, it looks like she has just given you the green light to "explore" opening your relationship and you have decided to call yourself poly.
If i am reading things correctly, so far you are having fun flirting and trying to figure out how to start a physical relationship with just about any and all women who will converse with you, including at work. And unless i am wrong, to date you have been at it a while and other than some flirting conversation, not much has happened. And meanwhile, your wife is sitting on the sidelines not communicating a lot.
So to me, I think you may be a little naive about non monogamy in general so I just would like to point out some thing you may want to think about as you progress.
(1) In ANY form of non monogamy, the power is all with the women. If your wife was being as enthused about meeting others as you are, in the time you have been posting she could have connected with more men than you could count if she wanted to. As you are finding it frustrating that some women are not interested in dating a married man, very few men will give a damm what your wife;s marital status is if she offers them the opportunity to get in her pants. Slo if you have not thoroughly thought that one out, you better do it, and make sure you are Ok with it, because one day she might tell you you are having so much fun she'd like to try it, and at that point you have no right to say no.
(2) I would also keep trying to find out all the time what your wife is REALLY thinking about your activities. I know she is not a real communicative person, but you know her best. That is important because if she inwardly really is not liking what you are doing, you might get a big surprise that she is just leaving, or that she finds a partner that wants just her.

Mono-poly relationships can work fine, IF the mono person is on board at least most of the way. If they are just tolerating it, eventually it will lead to disaster.

I am not trying to lecture you , but I have known many men who have initiated getting into non monogamy thinking it will be all fun and games, and you seem to be having fun right now. But when their female partner blows them at the game and is having a blast, all of a sudden the men are not that enthused. it is always better to think these things out as best as you can in advance. That is all I am suggesting to you.

Good luck
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