Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat
*shrug* I guess I'm just a little skeptical about forcing the "I want us to all be a big happy family" type of poly. For some people, usually older people (no offence LR and RP *wink*), it seems to work out that way. But they've been through the trenches, had lots of different kinds of poly relationships, and settled on what works for the long term now that they have kids and the whole package. But people like you and me are young and we've still got lots of exploring to do. Why do you feel you need to pin down exactly what "kind" of poly relationships you're going to have in the future? Life works out a lot smoother if you just live for the Now and let the future unfold as it will.
While I appreciate what you are saying here I don't think that was what she was saying so much as she knows
what will make her feel comfortable and this woman has a different comfort level. It doesn't seem to be that she is questioning it, but looking for a way to bring the two of them together on the same page because of their differences.
I also think that the idea of a her kind of poly is to know who her partner is with, not so much letting it ride with many lovers coming and going or looking for family, but just knowing her partners partners. A bit of a difference there I think.
(btw, I never saw myself as the old family type poly person as I have other lovers outside of my family dynamic. They fill a different need for me than family needs do....Interesting.... I'm one of thoooooose am I ! Why do I always feel like that is in someway wrong, or bad? hm)
I'm not sure there is much you can do besides wait and find a moment where by the two of you could work something out. I think that she is the one that has to deal with her jealousy first before moving forward. I wonder why she feels jealous towards you and not other lovers of this man?