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Old 04-16-2010, 03:23 AM
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Morningglory629 Morningglory629 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: PA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I'm really sorry, but I'm lmao.

I read your first couple posts and thought-HUH wonder if that is KT's husbands girlfriend. And so it was.



My advice is as follows,

Morningglory-you need to PRIORITIZE KT's needs.
KT-you need to prioritize Morningglory's needs.

That means you each need to identify your NEEDS (not wants NEEDS) clearly and concisely. Make a list.
10 each, no more, no less.

Take the next 3 months to focus on meeting those with and for one another.

NEEDS again-not wants. That means you don't put "x many days/nights with the man we both love." THAT is a WANT.

Second-the two of YOU need to be seeing the counselor. No argument that you all may need to EACH see one, but the two of YOU need to see a counselor WITHOUT the man.

Third-Morningglory-you need to understand that if you want to be a part of their family, you have a LOT of work to do with your husband (from the sounds of it) because it needs to be a TWO WAY STREET. Not sex, obviously he nor KT are in love with one another. But the welcome of your families needs to be mutual.

Fourth-All 4 of you as adults need to sit down in the next 6 months sometime-not longer than that, and figure out how you are going to deal with the kids. Are you "out" are you "in". Also-how are you going to deal with public? Out or in? Family members, which ones are you out or in with and why. Friends-out or in.
This should be a JOINT decision that takes ALL parties feelings into consideration.

It is reasonable to expect to make progress in our lives.

BUT WHAT ARE YOU PROGRESSING TOWARDS?

It's IMPOSSIBLE to progress towards ANYTHING functional unless all of you have sat down and figured out a COMMON GOAL to progress towards. Seriously.

If you put two animals and yoke them to the front of a wagon, one pulls left and one pulls right, the wagon is NOT going to accomplish ANYTHING productive. You want to make progress into a "happy, content" life-then you guys need to get on the same road-whatever that road may be.
I could not agree more...give me a working guide. Not sure if I spoke with you about this but we are working with a relationship counselor and I hope our group session works! I like plans and courses of action!
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