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Old 04-16-2010, 02:50 AM
saudade saudade is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 139
Unhappy Issues we're hitting up against

Echoing the group: not having enough time is rough. Scheduling is rough. Jealousy is rough.

Here's a few "new" ones...

~ Twig and I are bumping against the question of whether or not we will ever "close" our relationship and become polyfidelitous rather than our current incarnation of poly (which is pretty open, doesn't even preclude swinging amongst friends if we talk about it). He feels frustrated that our constellation of loves and friends is so changeable, and that he can't ever just say "this is it, this is how things look" the way you would in a monogamous marriage. In contrast, I freak a bit at the thought of polyfi-- what if I met someone new?

~ Having to talk about every damn thing. 90% of the time, it's great. We're so up front and clear with each other, and I love it. Once in awhile, though, it feels like we're expliciting things to death (not a word, I know...).

~ Balancing between getting individuals' needs met and being 'fair'. One of my partners leans toward clingy, and one leans toward independent (it's like dating a dog and a cat), and it feels like ping-pong trying to live with them sometimes...

~ Starting to feel like my circle of friends is getting pretty incestuous. Right now I love it, but I know if there's a breakup we could explode like a firecracker (and most of us are co-housing together!)

How about you?
"I was thorough when I looked for you, and I feel justified lying in your arms." - Chasing Amy
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