Yesterday I wrote to Carla on FB, about them reading my thread, about how she and I are more or less metamours now, and how it seems mature and helpful to me, for us to all meet together and get to know each other.
After all, Ginger has only met one on one with each of them once, briefly, and they know all this stuff about me from reading my thread, and I know about them from Ginger, but I am getting tired of us all getting our info second hand or from IMs. What about good old talking over coffee or tea?
So. Last night Ginger came over 630PM, but he was in a very withdrawn mood; I think more because of his surgery fears than the Carla thing. We 3 all chatted for a while, then watched a basketball playoff game, and then he apologized for not feeling present, and went home before 10.
I told him that I'd written again to Carla. He said she'd told him she'd gotten my message soon after I'd sent it, but she told him she was afraid to read it. And when he told me that, he also seemed afraid I'd torn her a new asshole, when really I was just trying to be honest, but still cordial and respectful. Hurt by them stalking my thread, but wanting to all meet face to face and be able to humanize instead of demonize each other. I think Ginger isn't used to such open communication.
Also, right after messaging Carla, I'd friend requested David on FB also.
So, today I saw she had written back a couple hours after getting my message. She said David had found my thread googling, on his own, and not because of Ginger mentioning me possibly outing them! Hm. She apologized some more for violating my privacy/anonymity here. Also, in regards to my request for us all to meet for a pow wow to get on the same page, she said:
"Being on the same page, let's do that. I admit to being a bit intimidated by the thought of a pow wow right now, but I am open to the idea."
Soon after I read her message and responded, David accepted my friendship add, and IMed me himself! He also confirmed he'd found my thread by googling "polyamory boston." He's in IT for a living an said he is "good at googling." He seemed sincere. He said he only read bits of my thread to Carla, and has stopped reading here and won't be back. He also agreed to meeting sometime soon. Of course, we won't do that until after Ginger gets through the early stages of recovery from his prostate procedure.
Oddly, just now, I googled "polyamory boston" but got nothing from this board in the first page of hits. So, I still don't really know how he just happened to stumble onto MY THREAD. Mysterious. Maybe we can clear that up when we all meet up... sigh...
Well, I feel a bit better just having had my own conversations with the 2 of them. At least they know I exist now, what I am going through, and it's not just this mad rush to a consummated love affair between Ginger and Carla, as if David and I don't exist! We aren't single people, we are poly people, and our actions with others impact our existing relationships!
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. --Shaw
me: Mags, female, pansexual, 59, loving and living with
miss pixi, female, pansexual, 37
Last edited by nycindie; 05-10-2014 at 10:38 PM.
Reason: At blogger's request.