Like Vandalin, a few things about your situation worry me.
Sexual intimacy involves primal emotions. You write that you were a virgin, and unless I am mistaken he is the only man you have had sex with -- your first connection with the extremely powerful feelings that usually come with that physical-spiritual act.
This worries me because it's often very difficult for even very sexually experienced people to handle those emotions in a polyamorous context.
Be careful with yourself. I know you treasure your relationship with him, but you need to give yourself emotional room. I think you would be wise to re-approach him slowly and with a lot of care. You are feeling emotional responses not only to his interest in another woman but also to the very powerful sensations of perhaps your first deep affection.
Please go slowly and carefully. If you've read much on this forum then you know that you are entering a high-voltage area. You need to be firmly grounded for your own safety.
Last edited by EugenePoet; 04-16-2010 at 12:59 AM.