I went to a pagan camping thing this past weekend. I'm glad I went although I was so wiped from the work week that I was really unsure if I would have any energy to enjoy the event. But it worked out. Ran into quite a few people I knew so that was nice. I went by myself. I hung out with a possible interest and have some really good conversations.
I'm sad over Whip and was not in a place to want sex or romance so that did not happen. I'm ok it did not occur. I was not in a place to deal with that or want it. I can just feel my desire spiraling away from me.
I came home a bit early (tired of being damp and cold and all the damn drumming. Pagans love drums for some reason). Whip was kindly tending Tiny Dog and Tiny Cat. I got to see him a little bit.
There's nothing there anymore. It's all perfunctory. How he holds me, how he interacts. It's feels so much like he 'should' hug or curl up with me when we go to sleep rather than something he wants. He's entirely focused on developing his business and there is nothing left for me. Not time, or attention, or focus, or anything.
Unless something drastic changes soon, time to end this relationship.