View Single Post
Old 05-05-2014, 06:22 AM
Anneintherain's Avatar
Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

Possible somebody already said something about this, but somehow there are lots of comments in the last day I don't have time to read at the moment.

Are you doing/sharing google calendars? When one of my partners schedules stuff, although I've asked him to let me know, he is pretty forgetful and more often than not, I see things on the calendar and ask him about it days before he gets around to saying anything. Not sure if he's willing to set up a calendar to share with you, but it can be helpful for that sort of thing.

I'm also not a fan of all the things happening at once. My newer partner has two dates scheduled soon that are probably going to include sex right next to each other, and my older non spousal partner is being pursued suddenly by somebody who's had her eye on him and will be meeting her for a first date sort of thing soon. If my husband was dating at the moment too, I am pretty sure I'd be retreating into a ball to deal with all the things.

I did want to say you are pointing again about how he needs all the partners. It's a balancing act, when I'm stressed it's hard to have my partners seek out more. I also always felt having four partners was too many, and when I suddenly did, I judged myself some and now I have three. I think the number is less importance than compatibility in meeting what we need in our lives, and it seemed like you were finding it easier to think about the number instead of your needs and if they were met. I think you have/had had three at least recently? Four isn't really some great jump, it's about doing justice to the connections you already have.

As I *know* some things bother me, I've clearly point out to my partners that although I'm pleased as punch to talk about their new interests, I don't want to talk about them after sex if it's a new interest. If I get to know and like or feel comfy with a metamour I'll start bringing them up at that point so it becomes a part of rambling conversation, but otherwise I expect to be post coital cuddling to be about them and me and not wandering to other pastures out loud.

Hmm looks like some game changing stuff happened if I scroll down and see the most recent posts, maybe this is all irrelevant but I felt all talky tonight.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.

Last edited by Anneintherain; 05-05-2014 at 07:23 AM.
Reply With Quote